


I'm a place I shouldn't be

by Maxishereandqueer



Series: I'm a sinner, let me vent that to the world [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, F/M, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Italics, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Modern Era, Rock and Roll, Self-Acceptance, Sleep Deprivation, Trust Issues, but very slowly, not really - Freeform, over use of italics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:35:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29815413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxishereandqueer/pseuds/Maxishereandqueer
Summary: He was intrigued, though there was no use in admitting it. He would never say it aloud anyways. Why would he admit to being intrigued by the person heabsolutelydespised?
Relationships: Original Character & Original Character, Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: I'm a sinner, let me vent that to the world [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2191716





	I'm a place I shouldn't be

It was warm, it smelled of booze, it was no place for him. He shouldn't be there- he _shouldn't_.

He is though. Maybe if the adults had put a bit more care into their careers, this teen wouldn't be roaming the bar so freely. But he is. Just as illegal as it is for him to be there, it was probably not good that a band made up of entirely of minors. But what was his opinion to them? He was a stupid kid after all. The more Aaron looked around, the more he saw others he recognized. The delinquents, sketchy kids, some popular ones even- mostly those who threw parties, the cliches- but some shockers stood out to him. Quiet kids were loud now, rowdy and taking shots.

If he thought they were loud then, he was sorely mistaken. The second the band that invited him themselves stepped onto stage, a loud roar of cheers erupted.

There he was. There was the damned cocky kid that challenged him at everything. Quinn and his group glanced his way, grinning from ear to ear. Quinn was smiling, he had the _audacity_. The makeup the male wore pissed him off endlessly, the outfit was worse- how could be confident in something so vulgar? Men should never wear anything a woman would wear...

Right?

 _No, I'm right._ Aaron argued stubbornly with himself, _I'm right,_

"Test, test." His voice rang out from the mic. Aaron wrinkled his nose at the sound of how happy he felt. "Hello ladies, gents, and our enby friends! The Volcanic Arc is back in business!" More cheers rang out, he waved to a few people enthusiastically. Their eyes met again. Aaron pretended to miss that sneaky wink. "I missed this crowd, I'm so fuckin' excited to be back! Isn't that right guys?" He motioned to his companions. Cora rolled her eyes, smirking and giving a thumbs up. Mauricio threw up a peace sign and greeted the crowd.

"As you can see, my mates are excited to be here too. So, y'all wanna guess what song we're gonna play tonight?" Quinn's eyebrows perk with excitement as he searches the crowd. He calls on Kandie. Everyone knew Kandie, Aaron didn't like them either. After all, how could anyone be genderless?

"What's gonna be, K?" Quinn laughed. They laughed with him, "Another Mitski song?"

Quinn was back to chuckling, "Am I that predictable? Okay, buckle up everyone-" He nodded to his band mates confidently, "I'm gonna sing "You Best American _Boy_. Just a dash of representation never hurt anyone, right?" Aaron glared at him, Quinn smiled right back. "A one, a two, a one, two, three..."

Everything began beating. The building, the people danced along to it in sync, and his heart- his fucking heart.

_I'm gonna need drinks after this._

" _If I could, I'd be your little spoon..._ "

Everything was warm again. Why was it so warm?

 _Too many people here..._ Aaron desperately fought within his mind.

" _And kiss your fingers forever more..._ "

_Stop._

He could feel Quinn's gaze on him.

" _But big spoon, you have so much to do_..."

_Jesus, why did I agree to come here?_

" _And I have nothing ahead of me..._ "

You're the sun, you've never seen the night

_Cocky bastard._

" _But you hear its song from the morning birds... well, I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star._ "

_Attention. All you want is attention._

" _But awake at night I'll be singing to the birds._ "

He hopped off the stage and all of a sudden the cheers tuned out, Quinn prowled towards him with that devilish, smug, self-satisfied smirk. He never broke out of tune.

" _Don't wait for me..._ "

_There's no fucking way..._

" _I can't come..._ "

He felt fingers tug at his jacket and there he was. Chest to chest with Quinn, the person he hated more than anyone else in the world.

" _YOUR MOTHER WOULDN'T APPROVE OF HOW MY MOTHER RAISED ME! BUT I DO, I THINK I DO!_ "

_How._

" _AND YOU'RE AN ALL-AMERICAN BOY, I GUESS I COULDN'T HELP TRYING TO BE YOUR BEST AMERICAN BOY!_ "

_How do they put up with the loudness._

Quinn backed away, beginning to parade about the crowd, it left Aaron utterly breathless and missing their moment.

" _You're the one, you're all I ever wanted... I think I'll regret this..._ "

_I don't understand._

And he paused, he let his friend hit the spotlight with her part of it- a guitar solo, and he stood and cheered. He cheered like she was the star, as if he weren't the one that dazzled everyone, as if he _were_ the audience.

" _YOUR MOTHER WOULDN'T APPROVE OF HOW MY MOTHER RAISED ME- BUT I DO, I FINALLY DO!_ "

_How can they put up with it?_

" _AND YOU'RE AN ALL-AMERICAN BOY, I GUESS I COULDN'T HELP TRYING TO BE THE BEST AMERICAN BOY!_ "

_How can they put up with his perfect fucking performances._

His voice lowered, his persona shifted. There it was again. The glint in his eye and the mischief rang through despite his calm demeanor.

" _Your mother wouldn't approve of how my mother raised me..._

_How can they stand his talent..._

The eye contact smothered it, he was sure it was suffocating.

" _But I do, I think I do..._ "

And just like that his voice faded away, the melody and the overwhelming loudness disappeared. There was a dull roar of cheers that he was sure were louder- they _had_ to be.

__

_He was desperate to get out. Why did he think this was a good idea? Why did he have to like that god forsaken song? He didn't look back as he rushed towards the door only to be stopped by Mauricio._

_"He wants to talk to you."_

_"I don't care."_

_Their tones weren't friendly, Mauricio had no heat, but Aaron took it all into his._

_"Going off so soon?"_

_His chest fluttered. He hated that it did that._

_He turned to Quinn, brows furrowed angrily, "Fuck off, fa-"_

_"I wouldn't. No one puts up with discrimination here, bud." Cora warned._

_He sighed heavily, "I watched your dumb show. I didn't feel a thing, so stop going on about acceptance and empathy and all that bullshit!"_

_Quinn pursed his lips, pouting lightly. Cora nudged Mauricio and they two walked off._

_Why did he feel so small? So out of place? He had never felt so ostracized._

_"Well that just won't do." Quinn chuckled, "How about you come to next week's show, all-American boy?"_

_His heart just about jumped out of his chest. Why did it keep doing that?_

_"I won't waste my time-"_

_"Guess you're a little scared, that's fine."_

_Aaron wanted to shove Quinn, wanted to topple the other over and beat the living shit out of him- but he couldn't. He couldn't move, he was too afraid to touch him. Why was this happening?_

_"I kind of wanted you here, but-"_

_" _Fuck offRonnie_."_

_He sighed as he rubbed a hand over his tired face._

_He made a mistake, didn't he?_

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of a vent thingy. It's more abstract and interpretive cuz I'm too sad to detail the shit that goes on in my life. All characters are interpretations of me and my friends (in this case entirely on friends there's only one person that represents me and it's not chill), some are just people I wish I had in my life. This will be fun for anyone to find. Have a good day, luvs.


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